


Gravity Falls Redux

by DeadpoolIsMySenpai



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Reality, Cousins, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Mild Language, Non-Graphic Violence, Retelling, Summer, Supernatural Elements, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-21 05:16:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6039682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadpoolIsMySenpai/pseuds/DeadpoolIsMySenpai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trouble at home has sent Dipper Pines to his Grunkle Stan's "Mystery Shack" for the summer. Not exactly his idea of a great summer. But, once he meets his grunkle's daughter Mabel (his third cousin), the two begin to develop a sibling-like bond - primarily because crazy stuff keeps happening around the two.</p><p>But why? What secrets is the sleepy town of Gravity Falls holding - and what could they have to do with Grunkle Stan?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tourist Trapped: Part I

_Thud. Slam. Bang._

Noises that Dipper had gotten used to lately. He usually heard these noises after 'going to bed' - his parents giving him a hug and a kiss and an absolutely-positively fake smile. It honestly pissed Dipper off they were trying to keep him in the dark.

He  _knew_ that they were in financial trouble, but he wasn't sure why. And his parents never seemed to discuss why during their late-night arguments. They just yelled, swore, and slammed a lot of stuff.

 _"Ben, **what** are we going to do?!" _His mom angrily asked his dad. "There's no way we can go on like this. We're going to have to start making some sacrifices. And that  _includes you_ ,  _too!"_

 _"Oh, like I haven't made **any** sacrifices, Violet!" _Dipper's dad angrily snapped back, seemingly making it his goal to be as loud as humanly possible. " _And in case you've forgotten, there's a third member of this family. I heard you talking to Dipper earlier today. Are you still planning on sending him to that ridiculous camp he does every year after all the trouble we've had recently?"_

Dipper wasn't usually one to swear, but a word slipped out of his mouth right then as raw emotion.

 ** _"Dick!"_** Dipper sort of whisper-exclaimed, covering his mouth. He couldn't believe his father was talking about him like he was some kind of burden, and thinking about canceling probably the only thing he looked forward to all year.

" _Honey, we can't do that to Dipper."_ His mom replied, lowering the tone in her voice quite a bit. " _I couldn't stand to tell him."_

Dipper smiled.

 _"Then I'll tell him."_ Dipper's dad responded, unsympathetic and still talking quite loudly.

Dick.

_"Ben, do you love our son? You're acting like you have no emotion at all!"_

_"I most certainly do. I just choose to show it with my actions, rather than bribing him with cash."_

_" **Bribing him?! How am I bribing him?! Oh, forgive me for being such a shitty mother and trying my best to get him out of the house once in a while! You know he loves that camp!"**_

That was perhaps the loudest Dipper had ever heard his mother yell in his life.

 _"You're not looking at this rationally. Dipper will live. And there are cheaper places he can spend his summer."_ Dipper's father replied, his speaking less loud, but with a very agitated tone in his voice. Dipper knew that tone; his father was close to his breaking point.

_"Oh my god...Ben, you're just like your brother, you know that? You-"_

_**Crack.**_

Just like a bullwhip, the sound came out of nowhere, startling Dipper. It took a second for the reality of what just happened to sink in. As soon as his brain processed it, Dipper felt his heart sink into his stomach.

There was no way  _that_ just happened. No way. That kind of thing only happened in movies. His dad...

" _Violet, I-"_ Dipper's dad began, the tone of his voice having drastically changed from the last time he spoke to her.

 _"No."_ Dipper's mom fiercely replied, sounding very weak and hoarse.  _"Just go."_

There was a long, cold silence.

 _"GET OUT OF HERE!"_ Dipper's mom shouted with the best of her ability. Dipper could hear his father leave the room, and his mother break down on the floor crying. And at this point, Dipper was crying as well. He could feel his heartbeat in his throat, his mind racing at a million miles an hour.

The last thing Dipper heard before blacking out was the sound of a car pulling out of his driveway. His father going to God knows where.

_This is all a dream. Everything will be better once you wake up._

* * *

Unfortunately, Dipper had yet developed the ability to alter reality. When he woke up, he had the same memories of the night before, and knew they were real. He had the same sick feeling in his stomach as he climbed out of bed and hesitantly left his room.

Much to Dipper's dismay, his father was in the kitchen, whisking a mixture of flour, sugar, milk, baking powder, salt, and baking soda into a bowl. Classic homemade pancakes.

Was this a bribe? Was his father trying to bribe him with food, the _damn_ hypocrite talking about-

 _Get ahold of yourself, Dipper,_ Dipper thought to himself, feeling his heart start to race. As he woke up a bit more, he remembered that it was Saturday. His father always made breakfast on Saturday. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Not a bribe.

Even considering that, it still was quite alarming to Dipper to see his father so calmly making breakfast after the events of the night before. When did he come back home? Had his mother really forgiven him so quickly for doing something so awful?

Dipper quietly snuck out of the kitchen before his father noticed him, after leaving the room noticing his mother, buried in her phone on the living room couch. Just from one look at her Dipper could tell she was physically and emotionally drained - not that he could blame her. 

However, the second the two made eye contact, the expression on his mother's face turned to a fake smile - that fake smile adults were constantly giving him no matter how troublesome things were. 

It was ridiculous. How could adults always tell him lying was wrong yet tell so many lies just with their face alone? 

"Good morning, Dipper." Dipper's mom said, struggling to hold her fake smile for a second before getting it back perfectly. "Your dad's making pancakes, and there's a bottle of bacon-flavored maple syrup in the pantry with your name on it."

 _Screw it,_ Dipper thought to himself,  _I'll play along._

"Sounds awesome." Dipper replied, giving his best fake smile back to his mother. Much to his surprise, it actually seemed to work. Maybe he could pretend like things were fine for a while.

That morning, when Dipper's father handed him his pancakes that Dipper usually loved, he couldn't help but notice they tasted a bit...sour. Maybe his taste buds were reflecting how he felt on the inside.

"Oh, shoot, this milk's expired!"

Dipper heard his father exclaim, grabbing Dipper's plate of pancakes and tossing them in the garbage.

"Don't worry, I'm gonna go right away and get some fresh milk!" Dipper's dad said, giving him the most fake smile he had seen in his entire life. Good God, it looked like he was being held against his will. His mom was way better at this whole fake-happy thing.

"You really don't need to-" Dipper's mom started, before the door slammed. She sighed.

At least Dipper felt a little better about himself now. It seemed ridiculous what he thought before; food tasting weird because of how he felt on the inside?

 _You read too much melodramatic fanfiction,_ Dipper thought to himself with a chuckle.

* * *

A few days later, Dipper's parents finally decided to talk to him (like they should've done from the beginning).

All of this pretending to be fine, smiling, and acting oblivious was making him lose his mind. 

"Dipper, we have a feeling that you've sort of...caught on that we're not in the best of financial situations." Dipper's mom said, giving a sort of smile. Not a sincere smile, one of melancholy; one that read 'I kinda wanna die' on the inside. It appeared she was done with the act. "Because of this, there's simply no way we can pay for you to go to Adventure Camp this summer."

"Not like you wanted to go to that silly old camp, anyways." Dipper's dad said, cutting his mom off quickly, not having dropped the act. "You were getting a little old for it anyways."

Dipper gave his father a look of utter disgust, almost like he'd caught a whiff of fresh roadkill. Without skipping a beat, his father's expression turned to a scowl.

"Whoa, why am  _I_ the bad guy here?" Dipper's dad questioned, starting to raise his voice and go into an angry rant before his mother interrupted.

"Ben." Dipper's mom stated flatly with a very calm tone of voice. Her husband knew it was time then to keep his mouth shut. "Dipper, honey, we understand that you're upset. But we've found a backup plan that...isn't awful." 

The way his mom said those last two words made Dipper cringe. She couldn't even say 'good' about this supposed plan, and she'd spent years faking bliss of Brussels sprouts and carrots to try to get Dipper to clean his plate at dinner.

"Your father suggested sending you to your great uncle Stan down in Oregon to help out at their...what's it called again? Mystery Shack?" Dipper's mom stated, still not seeming optimistic about this plan at all. 

"My great uncle  _who_?" Dipper questioned.

"You don't remember him? He came to that family reunion a couple of years ago?"

"I had just the new  _Realm Ticker_ game for my DS. I honestly don't remember anything that happened at that reunion."

Dipper's mom chuckled and continued. "I think you might end up liking it. He has a daughter from an ex-marriage - who I guess is your cousin thinking about it - who was absolutely hilarious at the reunion. Full of energy."

"Does that really sound like the kind of person I'd hang out with?" Dipper questioned, giving his mom a puzzled look.

"Oh, be nice. Their Mystery Shack place is a tourist trap, and it's unlikely he'll pay you, but it's, uh...good work experience."

"And fresh air!" Dipper's dad butted in. 

Dipper sighed. "Do I...have a choice?"

Dipper's mom sighed. "I guess you do, but we would...really, really prefer it if you-"

"Fine."

* * *

A few days later, Dipper found himself on the bus which would either make or break the rest of his summer. He had done some research about this 'Mystery Shack' place online, and the reception was...rather mixed.

 _"Great place, great employees and everything is 100% real!"_ Dipper had a feeling that review itself might not have been 100% real.

 _"I still haven't found my son. Horrible place."_ Um...concerning.

 _"An employee slipped and exposed the 'Sascrotch' to my entire family, very traumatizing."_ Dipper had no idea what that was about.

Dipper tried his best to look on the bright side of the situation, but it seemed to be getting dimmer and dimmer with every passing second. Plus, he was still worried about his parents. What he had ascertained that night was on his mind nearly every second, and it never got any easy to relive it in his head. He just hoped his mother would be okay.

As Dipper spaced off on the bus, he was jutted out of his daydreams and disturbed by the bus suddenly blaring a tune he'd heard at least one before: " _ **I'm on the hiiiiighway to hell..."**_

A few other passengers on the bus made similarly agitated sounds, as the bus driver chuckled.

"No need to be alarmed, folks." The bus driver said. "Just an accidental button press."

It might have been just an accident, but if that wasn't the universe giving some serious foreshadowing, Dipper didn't know what was.

* * *

He had finally made it.

Dipper approached the rusty old shack he'd be calling home for the next month or so hesitantly. It looked rougher in person than in the photos online. The first thing he noticed was that there was an 'S' that had fallen off the sign since the most recent photo he'd seen, making it read  _"Mystery Hack"._

And it certainly gave the impression of a tourist trap. For a couple of seconds, Dipper thought about running. He wasn't sure where he'd run or how he'd find himself decent living arrangements, but this place was seriously giving him the creeps.

Alas, it was too late, because before Dipper knew it, he was being tackled to the ground by an unknown force. It took his brain a second to process more than a speck of brown; this was a girl - probably the cousin his mom was talking about...

"Hi, my name's Mabel!" Mabel yelled excitedly. "I've been waiting all day to meet you, cuz! Wow, you're shorter than I thought you'd be! Not that you're short, I just thought boys were always taller. My dad told me you're twelve. I'm twelve too! What a coincidence! What's your favorite class in school? What's your favorite animal? What's life like in California?"

Dipper's brain was being overloaded as this girl talked and talked at about a million miles a minute, not really giving him a chance to answer any of her questions.

"Mabel, don't be weird." A gruff voice semi-jokingly ordered as it entered the outdoors. In Dipper's vision, while still tackled to the ground, he saw a man with gray hair (partially being covered by some sort of cap), a frame somewhere in between average and stocky, and a kind smile. 

 "Not sure if you remember me." The man continued, holding his hand out. "I'm your grunkle Stan."

Dipper appeared confused at the word the man had just thrown out, so he elaborated.

"Get it? Great uncle...grunkle...shortened it to make it a little bit easier? I mean, if you wanna say 'great uncle' all the time that's your choice, kind of a workout to spit out. Anyways, nice to see you again, kid."

"Nice to see you again too, Grunkle Stan." Dipper replied, shaking his grunkle's hand and feeling a bit warmed up to the place now that he'd been properly introduced.

 "Hey, is your nephew here, Stan?" A male, different-sounding voice Dipper couldn't think of the right word for asked, appearing out of the front door. Thinking about the voice more, Dipper could best describe it as still a man's voice, but a bit more childish then his grunkle's.

The man had a wide frame, buck teeth, and a hat on that was hiding rather he had any hair or not to Dipper. The thing that most stood out about the man to him was his shirt - green with a black question mark painted in the middle. Was this to imply he was mysterious, or just confused a lot?

"Nice to meet you, little dude." Soos stated. "My name's Soos. Hope we can be awesome coworker buddies together."

 _Coworker?_ Oh, right. Dipper had forgotten he'd be sort-of working at this Mystery Shack place.

"So, uh, is it just you guys who run this place?" Dipper asked.

"There's a girl who works here too," Soos started, "her name's Wendy, but she's on her twenty-minute lunch break."

"Hey...come to think of it, she's been on her twenty-minute lunch break for like, an hour." Mabel said.

 "Not again!" Grunkle Stan angrily yelled, slapping his forehead. "I swear that girl needs a leash. Soos, check around the area."

"Uh, sir, didn't you want me to put up those flyers we just printed?" Soos questioned.

"Nuts. Well, that's what our new employee's for!"

"Hey, I've only been here two minutes!" Dipper stated loudly. "Can I at least unpack my stuff first?"

"Fine." Grunkle Stan replied. "Ten minutes for unpacking, because I like you. You're sharing a room with Mabel, by the way."

* * *

Well, it didn't seem bad so far...not exactly Adventure Camp, though.

Dipper sighed, getting lost in his memories of geeky fun he wished he could be having as he hung signs on various trees advertising the Mystery Shack.

In a split second, he was broke out of his memories by the sudden attempt to hammer a nail into a tree that seemed...off. Almost like...metal? 

"No, that's impossible, Dipper." Dipper muttered to himself. "You're losing it."

But he tried yet again, and there was no way that wasn't metal. He curiously examined the tree, finding what appeared to a secret door on it. Once he opened the secret door, inside was the weirdest device he'd ever

Once he opened the secret door, inside was the weirdest device he'd ever seen in his life. It looked like a cross between a microwave and an iPod. He turned some switches on it, not expecting much - much to his surprise, he heard something open behind him.

Turning around, Dipper had to do a double take. Was that...a trapdoor? 

Walking over to the trapdoor and peering into it, Dipper saw a book of some sort. Grabbing the book from the door and blowing the dust off of it, he raised an eyebrow at the cover, which featured a hand and the number  _ **"3".**_

He opened the book, having to some blow more dust off of it and cough once or twice, and began muttering the text aloud to himself.

" _It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon."_

Maybe Dipper's summer wouldn't be so boring after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very minor portion was left unmodified from the original Gravity Falls episode at the end. This was intended for fair use and belongs to Disney and Alex Hirsch.
> 
> While the differences from canon at this point are minor, there will be more as the story continues on. (My goal is to have almost every episode/chapter have a different main plot and creature from canon.) So, uh...keep reading. Pretty please? :)


	2. Tourist Trapped: Part II

Dipper continued to flip through the journal eagerly, having the most fun he'd had in days just reading...whatever this was. Was this someone's fiction, or was all of this stuff actually real?

Gnomes, goblins, beasts, ogres; this book had it all and claimed that all these creatures could be found in Gravity Falls.

As he flipped through the pages, he came across one page which read in big, bold letters  **"TRUST NO ONE".** Dipper, of course, couldn't ignore this and stop to read the page.

 _"Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed."_ Dipper began reading aloud.  _"I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls, there is no one you can trust."_

"You workin' on a novel or something?"

A voice from behind Dipper immediately made him jump. He turned around and saw it was his cousin Mabel, who laughed.

"This is going to sound crazy," Dipper began, turning towards his cousin, "but I found this in the forest just now."

"Really?" Mabel questioned, snatching the book from Dipper.

"Hey!"

"I'm just looking. Ever heard of sharing, cuz?" Mabel teased, flipping through the book. "Wow. This is crazy."

Just like her cousin, Mabel became curious at the  **"TRUST NO ONE"** page, stopped and read the whole page.

"Do you think this could be real?" Mabel asked.

"No clue," Dipper replied. "I mean, if it  _was_ real, wouldn't Grunkle Stan have some better attractions in the Shack? Like, ones that are actually real?"

"Hey, I know the Invisible Man is real!"

"Can that be proven?"

"Well, no, but...he's invisible!"

Dipper sighed. "Your dad's brainwashed you a bit, hasn't he? Anyways, I'm gonna keep this journal with me from now on. I don't know why, but I have this feeling in my gut this might be useful in the future."

"What, in case we get attacked by a pack of gnomes?" Mabel giggled.

"That'd actually be pretty serious. It claims in the journal they have no known weaknesses."

Mabel snorted. "They're like, two feet tall. What's the worst they could do?"

* * *

Dipper eventually got back to his duties and made sure to hide that book from Grunkle Stan. For whatever reason, he had the same feeling in his gut that Grunkle Stan wouldn't like it very much.

Once Dipper was done with his duties, he began flipping through channels in the living room and was rather disappointed. Not only did Grunkle Stan only have basic cable, Gravity Falls had some  _weird_ channels. 

"Welcome to another lovely top-of-the-hour _Susan Says_ segment on Gravity Falls Public Access TV!" A female voice on the television gleefully announced.

The television then cut to a slideshow of images of a woman with large, grey hair and an eye closed for whatever reason. Cheap transitions and public domain music accompanied said slideshow.

"Yeesh." Dipper muttered. "Will they give anyone a show here?"

Dipper's attention was turned from the television by a sudden doorbell ring. From a distance, Dipper heard Mabel gasp and run towards the door.

"Hellooooo!" Mabel shouted, tackle-hugging whoever was at the door. "Oh my gosh, I missed you so much in the past twenty minutes! I'm so excited for you to meet my family!"

Mabel entered back into the house with a tall, slender boy. The boy was wearing a black T-shirt, blue jeans, had messy blonde hair, and his most engrossing feature: light purple eyes.

"Nice to meet you all." The boy said cheerfully, giving a happy smile.

Something about the boy's smile made Dipper immediately think of the journal...

_ **TRUST NO ONE** _

"How's it hanging?" Grunkle Stan asked. "Mabel, is this one of your knitting buddies or something?"

Mabel giggled. "No, Dad! Say hello to my new boyfriend, Nor-"

And that was the end of civility for Grunkle Stan, as he reached across to Mabel's boyfriend and grabbed him by the shirt.

"So, you're trying to seduce my daughter, eh?" Grunkle Stan questioned. "Four words for ya, pal:  _I. Own. Ten. Guns. Back. Off._ Wait, that was six. My point still stands!"

"Dad!" Mabel exclaimed, trying to pull her father off of her boyfriend.

Mabel's boyfriend simply chuckled. "You're far from the first father to browbeat me, kind sir. I assure you I mean no maltreat to your daughter."

Grunkle Stan's attitude about Mabel's boyfriend suddenly snapped as he held his hand out. "Huh. I like those fancy words you used. And you called me kind! Welcome to the family, kid!"

"Really?" Dipper questioned in a baffled tone, shaking his head.

"As I was saying before, my name's Norman." Norman said, giving that same suspicious smile. "Nice to meet you all."

"We met at the cemetery," Mabel stated. "He was paying respect to his great-grandfather! He does that every Wednesday! Isn't that sweet?"

" _The sweetest."_ Dipper sarcastically muttered in a high-pitched voice.

"So, you wanna go hold hands in the forest or...whatever?" Mabel said, tracing her finger on Norman's chest playfully.

"It'd be my pleasure," Norman replied with a chuckle, as the two headed off to who knows where together.

"You're just gonna allow that?" Dipper questioned his grunkle after the two left.

"Eh, I like him. Good vocabulary." Grunkle Stan said, turning his attention towards the TV.

Dipper  _knew_ something about Norman wasn't right...he decided to head to him and Mabel's room, where he could study the journal he'd found earlier that day in private. Maybe he'd find an answer in there.

* * *

"Come on, come on..." Dipper muttered, flipping through pages and hoping for something to catch his eyes. Finally, on one page, he noticed light purple markings, and remembering Norman's eyes he quickly flipped back to it.

"The...tentacle monster?" Dipper questioned, reading the title of the page aloud. "Why do I feel like that's a thing I've heard of before and wish I hadn't?"

Dipper continued to read the page aloud.  _"Tentacle monsters do not exist in their own unique body, rather take over the bodies of particularly attractive adolescent or young adult males and use them to seduce willing females. Once they're in a quiet place together, the tentacle monster will impregnate her, with the birth of a squid-human hybrid that more often than not kills the child and the baby."_

_"The top signs are a tentacle monster are an easy ability to charm and...light purple eyes."_

Closing the book, Dipper suddenly felt like he was going to be sick. There was no way, right?

Those light purple eyes kept flashing in Dipper's mind. He decided to go to someone who came off as pretty cool and understanding to him, Soos, for advice. 

* * *

"Soos, I need some advice," Dipper stated, walking into an empty room where Soos was screwing in a lightbulb.

"Oh, dude, you came to the right person! I'm great with advice." Soos eagerly replied. "Unless it has to do with girls. Or how to be a responsible adult. Or how to beat the last level of  _Kenran Sagura Break._ "

"Nope, none of those. You see, uh..." Dipper began, chuckling to himself. "This is gonna sound crazy, but I found this journal in the forest, and it's led me to believe Mabel's new boyfriend might be a tentacle monster! Crazy, right? Hehe...why aren't you laughing?"

Instead of laughing, Soos looked terrified. 

" _Oh my gosh."_ Soos muttered to himself.  _"I've seen enough anime to know where this is going..."_

"What was that?" Dipper questioned.

"Uh...nothing, dude! But tentacle monsters are not something you wanna mess with."

"So you think it's really possible?"

"Totally, dude. Better safe than sorry."

"Alright...thanks, Soos." Dipper said. "You're a real pal. I'm going to go with my gut on this."

"And before you go, I have gifts for your journey." Soos stated. "Take this shovel."

"Thanks, man. Dunno how that'll work on the monster, but it's worth a shot, right?"

"Yeah, I saw it in a movie once. And here's a baseball bat."

"Uhh..."

"In case you see a pinata."

* * *

Dipper was running out of the Mystery Shack, knowing it'd take him at the least a couple minutes on foot to get to the forest where Mabel was with her boyfriend.

Man, if Dipper's gut was wrong, he was going to be so embarrassed.

As Dipper ran towards the front door, he ran face first into a green pattern. 

This green pattern was the typical shirt of Wendy Corduroy, the only person at the Mystery Shack Dipper had yet to meet. As soon as his eyes met hers, he felt a weird, tingly feeling inside of him. Looking up at her, she was very tall for a female, a redhead wearing a brown hat, green shirt and blue jeans.

 _Curse you, hormones,_ Dipper thought to himself, struggling to remember his mission as he looked at the girl.

"Oh, hey! You're Mabel's cousin, right?" Wendy asked, holding her hand out. "If I would've remembered you were coming today, I would've actually come back from my lunch break. Anyways, I'm Wendy. I work here and stuff. How's it hanging?"

"Um, h-hi there." Dipper said, holding his hand out to Wendy and shaking it. 

_Focus, Dipper!_

"I, um, this is gonna sound crazy and all since we just met, but I think my sister is in danger of being attacked by a tentacle monster." Dipper stated. "So, uh, do you mind if I borrow the golf cart to get there faster?"

Wendy simply looked at him briefly with a puzzled expression and snickered. "I like you, kid."

She handed him the keys. "Try not to hit any pedestrians."

* * *

Dipper sped off in a golf cart for the first time in his entire life, bag strapped on his back with Soos' weapons and the journal. which surprisingly wasn't very difficult. Maybe he'd be a decent car driver when the time came.

Well, except for that part where he almost crashed into a tree. And slammed face-first into a bunch of dirt. Baby steps, Dipper.

As soon as he made it to the forest, he thanked his gut in his head for proving he wasn't crazy. Because in front of him, he saw Mabel's previously fairly-attractive boyfriend wasn't looking too hot now.

His face was grisly and pale, and his body had significantly bloated and expanded to hold the weight of the eight purple tentacles he now possessed. He had a tentacle wrapped around Mabel, as she screamed in horror until seeing Dipper.

"Cuz! I'm so stupid!" Mabel exclaimed. "I think that book is real because my boyfriend just turned into..."Mabel was unable to finish her sentence as she felt the tentacle tighten on her, restricting her air. Her face began to turn the same shade as the tentacles as she gestured to Dipper for help.

Mabel was unable to finish her sentence as she felt the tentacle tighten on her, restricting her air. Her face began to turn the same shade as the tentacles as she gestured to Dipper for help.

Dipper wasn't sure what to do. If he ran, he'd regret it for the rest of his life. If he didn't run, there was a possibility he'd regret it in the afterlife.

 _Screw it, this is for family,_ Dipper thought to himself.

He charged at the tentacle monster, exclaiming the manliest scream of his life...

...and flew right into the clutches of the monster, feeling the same restraint of oxygen his cousin did. This was a suicide mission.

"Cute effort." Norman said, with a considerably deeper, more disturbing voice than before. 

Dipper felt himself begin to weaken as he saw spots in his vision. The monster suddenly dropped him, causing Dipper to moan in pain.

"I'm not here for you, so I'm giving you  _one chance,_ " Norman told Dipper. "I'm going to finish what I've started here, or I'm going to destroy you and the girl."

"We'll see about that." Dipper replied with a smirk, reaching into his bag and pulling out the journal.

"I don't think this is the time for recreative reading." Norman laughed, as Mabel gave Dipper a glare.

Dipper flipped to the page on tentacle monsters, only to find no information on their weaknesses. However, flipping towards the back, he found a series of random notes, one of which was certainly helpful:

_Darn! How could I have forgotten to put this on the page? A tentacle monster's weakness is having all of its eight tentacles penetrated and drained of ink._

_Thank you, journal,_ Dipper thought to himself.

He reached into his bag and pulled out the shovel.  _And thank you, Soos._

While Norman was beginning a little bit of pressure off Mabel (he wanted to keep her alive to impregnate her, after all), Dipper leaped at the monster's tentacle and smashed it with the shovel.

As Dipper did so, he got a massive squirt of ink in his face. Gross.

However, it did cause Norman to release his grip on Mabel and significantly catch him off-guard.

 _"Oh, crap..."_ Norman muttered, surprised that Dipper had a supply of weapons. Norman shook his head real fast to snap himself out of it, and snatched at Mabel again, who quickly dodged the tentacle that was coming towards her.

Dipper grabbed the baseball bat out of the bag and handed it to Mabel, as she ran in the opposite direction and began smashing another tentacle with a bat, getting the same squirt of ink Dipper did.

Shovel in hands, Dipper turned towards another one of Norman's tentacles, prepared to righteously destroy it. Unfortunately, he underestimated how fast the monster could charge towards him - the answer to that is  _"very, very_ fast" by the way.

Dipper was snatched up quite tightly by Norman, and he saw his life flash before his eyes - he knew the monster would be willing to kill him. It had no use for him.

He began to cough up blood, as once again he felt the inability to breathe.

With one glance at her cousin, Mabel felt her entire body tense up with anger. Without thinking, she began rapidly smashing the tentacles of the monster, getting herself and the forest covered in ink.

"Stop that at once!" Norman demanded, trying to find a tentacle that still worked to snatch Mabel up with.

 ** _"Don't mess with the Pines family!"_** Mabel exclaimed, stabbing the last tentacle of Norman that was holding Dipper.

With a thunderous roar, Norman began to shrink, the tentacles falling off his body and decomposing into dust. His body began to debloat, almost like some sort of rapid cleanse, transforming him back to his original size. 

When the boy looked up again, his eyes had turned from a light purple to a light brown.

"What on earth happened?" The real Norman asked, rubbing his eyes. "Did I black out or something?"

 _"Tentacle monsters take the bodies of innocent people,"_ Dipper whispered to his cousin.  _"Just play along with me."_

Dipper turned towards Norman and cleared his throat. "Yeah, man. We just found you here in the forest. No idea how long you've been out or anything, but we've been trying to get you awake for quite a while."

"Oh, uh...yeah, that," Mabel said, really not comfortable with lying and trying her best to avoid doing one of her famous lying tics.

As Mabel looked at Norman, she noticed that he was even more attractive when he wasn't a tentacle monster. And, y'know, not evil anymore. This was her perfect opportunity to finally get a boyfriend!

"Really?" Norman asked. "Oh, shoot! My boyfriend's probably worried sick about me. I remember telling him I was heading over to his house an hour ago...well, at least, it was an hour ago when I blacked out."

Mabel frowned.

"Thanks, guys!" Norman said, waving to Dipper and Mabel as he went in the opposite direction.

Heading back towards the Mystery Shack, Dipper and Mabel were hit with the realization they had quite a bit of ink on them. They weren't sure how to explain that to Grunkle Stan, but thankfully he was taking an afternoon nap when they arrived home, giving them an opportunity to covertly wash themselves of the ink.

* * *

"Hey, guys." Grunkle Stan said to Dipper and Mabel as they sat in the gift shop later that day "working" (playing Tic-Tac-Toe on a notepad). "Wouldn't you know it, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh...why don't each of you take one item each from the gift shop? On the house."

"Really?" Mabel asked. "Wow, Dad, you've never done anything like this before..."

"Don't get used to it."

Mabel chuckled, turning towards the inventory in the gift shop, looking for something that screamed 'Mabel'. Finally, she saw it.

"GRAPPLING HOOK!" Mabel exclaimed, pulling the item off the shelf and twirling it around.

Grunkle Stan chuckled. "You know, Mabel, you take after yours truly. Always a little bit outside of the norm..."

Meanwhile, Dipper was looking more at clothing and found a particular hat that seemed to fit his style. The hat was white and had a blue pine tree on it.

Dipper put the hat on and looked in the mirror. "That oughta do to the trick."

Grunkle Stan suddenly blinked repeatedly, looking at Dipper and Mabel with a shocked expression. "What are those red marks on your necks?"

"Huh?" Dipper asked, looking towards the mirror again. "Huh. I guess there is one there..."

Mabel stood next to Dipper and looked at her neck in the mirror. "Whoa, how did I not notice that before?"

Alarmed, Grunkle Stan suddenly turned angrily towards Dipper. "Say, what happened to Mabel's boyfriend from earlier?"

"What? How would I know?" Dipper questioned. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Were you two playing hanky panky in the forest for that hour or so you were gone?"

" _What?!"_ Both Dipper and Mabel exclaimed at once, their faces turning bright red.

"Listen, kid, if you're going to stay here, we're going to have to set some ground rules about my daughter." Grunkle Stan said, getting in Dipper's face. "Whatever you do to her, you have to do to me."

Dipper, terrified and confused, ran away from his grunkle, who chased after him.

"Daddy, stop! You've got it all wrong!" Mabel yelled, chasing after the two.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very minor portion was left unmodified from the original Gravity Falls episode at the end. This was intended for fair use and belongs to Disney and Alex Hirsch.


	3. Bigfoot and the Pines

Dipper and Mabel were eating a lovely breakfast together, high-class for the Mystery Shack. This breakfast was none other than beautiful blueberry pancakes made with the dollar store's signature pancake mix. They tasted faintly of cheap sugar substitute instead of real blueberries (the kind Dipper's mom and dad bought at home promised "Made With 100% Real Blueberries" - Grunkle Stan didn't believe in that health crap), but other than that weren't half-bad.

"Hey, you wanna do something fun?" Mabel asked Dipper as she pulled two maple syrup bottles close to them.

"You and I's definition of fun doesn't always match," Dipper replied. "I'm gonna need more information."

"Trust me, you're gonna like this."

Mabel took her syrup bottle and dabbed a bit of syrup on both her and Dipper's pancakes.

"Hey, what are you doing? I can syrup my own pancakes!" Dipper exclaimed.

"Wah wah." Mabel replied, laughing. "Anyways, syrup-drinking contest?"

"Syrup-drinking contest? That sounds kinda fun. And like my mother wouldn't approve of it."

"That makes it even more fun!" Mabel exclaimed, tilting her bottle towards her mouth. Dipper did the same. "On three. 1..."

Before counting any further, Mabel began chugging.

"Hey, that's cheating!" Dipper yelled, quickly beginning to chug his bottle. The sugary flavor engulfed his taste buds as he swallowed as fast as humanly possible...and swallowed...and swallowed...

"Done!" Mabel said, putting her bottle down and exhaling. Sure enough, it was empty.

"That's no-" Dipper began, before suddenly letting out a loud belch.

The cousins roared with laughter before Dipper got back to his spiel.

"That's not fair!" Dipper exclaimed. "You used your bottle on my pancakes so that there would be less for you to have to drink! Not only that, but you started before I did!"

"You're just a sore loser." Mabel replied.

"Well, yeah, I am, but that was definitely cheating!"

Grunkle Stan entered the kitchen, and upon seeing the two empty maple syrup bottles, his eyes went wide.

"I just bought those!" Grunkle Stan yelled, looking at the kids and noticing their faces being coated to the sides in a dark amber. "Mabel,  _tell me_ you didn't have a maple syrup drinking contest with your cousin."

"Okay, I didn't have a maple syrup drinking contest with my cousin." Mabel replied nervously with a smile.

"Now say it like you mean it."

"Umm..."

"Dang it!" Grunkle Stan exclaimed. "That's four bucks down the drain. You guys aren't getting pancakes again for a while."

"Aww." Dipper and Mabel said at the same time in a disappointed tone.

"As I came down here to say, sorry about yesterday, Dipper." Grunkle Stan stated. "I may have overreacted just a tad bit, which is the reason why I bought special pancake mix in the first place for you guys."

"It's fine." Dipper replied. "But why...why would you think something like that? Mabel's my cousin!"

"I went to the prom with my cousin."

"Eww!" Dipper and Mabel said in unison. Just as they were expressing how grossed out they were, they heard a scream from the bathroom.

"Was that...Soos?" Mabel questioned.

"Soos, it'll be alright! You can probably buy some pancakes with what little I pay you!" Grunkle Stan yelled to Soos in the bathroom.

Silence.

"Soos?"

Soos came out of the bathroom, a look of terror on his face and a towel covering the lower part of his body.

"Uh...dudes..." Soos started. "I don't mean to alarm you, but there's a seven foot tall hairy mythological creature in our shower."

* * *

_"Please don't hurt me!"_

Grunkle Stan had charged into their bathroom with a rifle, expecting a fight. What he got instead was a hairy beast cowering in the corner like a big baby. His voice was up several octaves, much like Dipper's when he got nervous.

"I don't mean you any harm..." The beast moaned. "I just wanted to get clean."

Dipper and Mabel followed behind Grunkle Stan, and were bewildered by the sight in front of them.

"Oh my gosh, is that...?" Mabel began.

"Bigfoot?" Dipper finished.

"Certainly looks like it." Grunkle Stan said, coming closer to the creature. "Look, buddy, before I kill ya, are you Bigfoot? I wanna know how much your carcass will be worth. Kids, Soos, just imagine how much the Mystery Shack would make if we had the real Bigfoot!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Mabel exclaimed, standing in front of the frightened creature. "He's shaking in the corner scared! He's basically like a little kitten in a beast's body! Daddy, would you shoot a little kitten?"

Grunkle Stan paused, then sighed. "Alright, Mabel. Let's give the thing a chance to tell its story."

"Thank you very much." The beast said, as he stopped cowering in fear and bowed to the Pines. "I am indeed Bigfoot. I come here from the forest, after being kicked out of my last home. I was going to stay there a little while longer, but, well...I fell in some mud and just couldn't handle being so dirty out in public! Nice to meet you all."

"Uh, yeah, hey." Grunkle Stan said. "Before you get any ideas, I will charge rent, mythological beast or not."

"Dad!" Mabel exclaimed. "Don't be rude."

Mabel ran up to Bigfoot, giving him a big smile and a hug. Bigfoot smiled back at her.

"It's like hugging the floor of a haircut place." Mabel whispered. "But in a good way."

"Uh...thanks?" Bigfoot replied confusedly. 

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe this is happening." Dipper said, barely able to catch his breath in excitement. "I have so many questions for you, Mr. Foot!"

"Mr. Foot?" Mabel and Bigfoot questioned at the same time.

"Jinx!" Bigfoot and Mabel said at the same time, smirking at each other.

"Jinx again! Jinx again!"

"Anyways, what's with the 'Mr. Foot'?" Bigfoot asked, chuckling. "Just calling me Bigfoot is fine."

"It just sounds weird to me." Dipper replied. "Anyways, the height currently reported for you on Wikipedia is between six feet, seven inches and nine feet, ten inches. What is your actual height?"

"Seven feet, four inches tall."

"Cool. Do you hang around the Northwest a lot? That's where most of your sightings have been reported."

"Sometimes, but I think a lot of people are just seeing shadows."

"Have you ever fallen into a trap?"

"No, because no one knows my weakness."

"Alright, alright, enough questions, Dipper!" Mabel interrupted. "He just got here. Remember how you got annoyed with me when I bombarded you with questions when you got here?"

 "Yeah, Dipper, have a little respect." Grunkle Stan scolded. "So, uh, Mr. Bigfoot, how much do you think you're worth?"

"Dad!" Mabel yelled. "You're no better."

"Do you play video games?" Soos asked Bigfoot.

"I used to." Bigfoot replied with a melancholy sigh. "They banned me from PlayEnd, though. I went to pick up my copy of  _Superb_ _Oarim Solar System,_ destroyed just a wee bit of merchandise on accident, and the manager was all like 'wah wah, you need to leave'."

Soos and Mabel chuckled, while Dipper was concerned that Bigfoot might be underestimating just how destructive his events were.

"Enough diddy-daddling!" Mabel suddenly yelled, grabbing Bigfoot's hand and locking it with hers. "You're my new bro, bro! Or sis. Wait, do you have a gender?"

"I'm a ma..." Bigfoot began, before thinking again. "You know, come to think of it, I'm not entirely sure."

"You're my new gender-neutral sibling!" Mabel exclaimed, hugging Bigfoot. "We've got a lot of sibling bonding to catch up on!"

Mabel grabbed Bigfoot and dragged zir to the living room off to do who knows what.

Dipper sighed, knowing that it probably wasn't the best idea to have a destructive seven-foot-tall beast with a questionable reputation be suddenly living with them.

Who knows? Maybe this would be a good thing. Their family could grow attached to him, much like that one Nintendo 64 game or that one movie, and have a sad goodbye scene where he leaves to be with his own kind.

* * *

That was much too simple for Gravity Falls.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Grunkle Stan yelled, pointing at both Bigfoot and Mabel accusingly as he pointed around the gift shop of the Mystery Shack.

A bottle of nail polish was spilt on the floor. Various Stan bobbleheads had been decapitated, their minuscule corpses lying on the cold, hard ground. The liquid holding the brain in a flask was also spilt on the ground, beginning to mix with the nail polish and creating a really coarse odor.

"It's not his fault, Dad!" Mabel exclaimed, holding Bigfoot's hand tightly. "Ze's just getting used to tight spaces is all!"

"Well, ze's going to pay me back for this." Grunkle Stan replied, giving Bigfoot the stink eye. "As soon as I figure out how to make sure the government can't steal all my cash off of you, you're going to be a part time worker, Mr. Bigfoot."

"Sounds kinda fun." Bigfoot replied with a sincere smile.

Grunkle Stan, not able to think of any comebacks, grumbled under his breath, walking away and leaving Mabel and Bigfoot to clean up their mess.

"Uh, Wendy," Dipper whispered, nudging the female cashier who was glancing at a magazine as usual, "am I crazy, or is it kind of concerning that we have Bigfoot living with us?"

"Huh?" Wendy questioned, glancing up from her magazine and doing a double take, it being her first time she'd bothered to acknowledge her surroundings in quite a while. "Whoa, when did that hairy dude get here?"

Dipper sighed. 

* * *

Dipper brushed his teeth that night, doing his usual routine for bedtime; however, something was weighing on his mind this time. 

Particularly, where would their seven-foot-tall friend be sleeping?

"Uh, Dipper," Mabel said, opening the bathroom door and almost seeming like she'd read his mind, "I hope you don't mind this, but...Bigfoot's gonna go ahead and take your bed, alright? At least for tonight."

"What?!" Dipper exclaimed, toothpaste running down his chin as he did so. Mabel giggled as he groaned, wiping his mouth and spitting the paste out before turning back to his cousin.

"Ze feels more comfortable sleeping when someone else is in the room!" Mabel defended. "And it's zis first night here. Try to be a little considerate."

"My consideration only goes so far. That's my bed."

"Is your name on it?"

Dipper sighed, rolling his eyes. "Seriously, Mabel? That's the comeback you're going with?"

Mabel held her hand up at Dipper, refusing to speak to him any longer.

"And now you're...talk to the hand? Really?" Dipper questioned. Mabel, of course, didn't answer. "Will you at least tell me where the heck I'm supposed to sleep?"

* * *

Dipper was wide awake on the right side of Grunkle Stan's bed, feeling like he had been placed in his personal hell.

How did he snore so much, and so loudly? It was simply unhealthy.

* * *

**_"THAT IS IT!"_ **

Dipper had never heard his grunkle exclaim so deafeningly before. (Admittedly, he'd only met him yesterday.) He must have really reached his breaking point.

" _ **YOU ARE OUT OF HERE!"**_ Grunkle Stan yelled, pointing towards the door at a sobbing Bigfoot.

"Dad!" Mabel yelled. "You're being unreasonable!"

"Unreasonable?!" Grunkle Stan replied. "You wanna know what's really unreasonable, Mabel? Being expected to hold board for some beast that showed up out of nowhere for free!"

"But no," Grunkle Stan continued, "why am I going on about that? That's not what's driven me to this point. What's driven me to this point is...this!"

Grunkle Stan held the infamous Rock That Looks Like a Face up in horror, flinching as he did so, unable to even look at it again. Dipper saw that the rock no longer looked like a face, as the design on it had been somehow smudged.

"It was an accident!" Mabel said. "How could you possibly be so cruel?"

"I'm not being  _cruel,_ I'm being  _rational,_ something you all could give a try once in a while!" Grunkle Stan barked, turning to his nephew after he did so. "Dipper, you're on my side with this, right?"

"What?" Dipper asked, not expecting to be dragged into this and not sure what to say. "I, um...well..."

Mabel gave Dipper a wounded look as Bigfoot continued to weep.

"You've got twenty minutes to get yourself out of here, or I'm going to call the cops." Grunkle Stan stated to Bigfoot.

**"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

The uproar came out of nowhere from the beast that had been previously crying, as ze stomped on the ground, causing the entire Shack to shake.

Bigfoot suddenly had a savage look on zis face Dipper nor any of the other Shack residents had seen before. With rage in zis eyes, his thick yellow nails clawed on Grunkle Stan, causing him to draw blood as the man yelped in pain.

"Bigfoot, stop!" Mabel yelled, tears welling up in her eyes. "You don't have to do this!"

Soos entered from the other room alarmed. "Hey, dudes, I heard a loud noise, what's going -  _whoa!"_

The beast lunged at Soos, grabbing him and, with only a second's hesitation (which could've just been Bigfoot checking zis grip) dragged him to the kitchen. Dipper, Stan and Mabel followed, scared and not sure what action to take. 

Dipper by this point had been through the journal a good dozen times or so. Much to his surprise, there was absolutely nothing about Bigfoot in there. If he survived this, he'd have to add a page.

His initial fear was turning into bewilderment as Bigfoot placed Soos in a comically large pot Grunkle Stan didn't even know he owned and began to season him with salt and pepper. In another much smaller bowl, he beat two eggs, and in yet another bowl, he mixed some breadcrumbs and half a cup of Parmesan.

"Uh...what exactly is happening here?" Grunkle Stan questioned. 

"I'm making flesh parmigiana, want some?" Bigfoot asked with a smile, continuing to season Soos.

"What?!" Soos exclaimed, leaping out of the pot. "I thought we were playing a game or something, dude. The way you said that so happily...I'm gonna probably have nightmares now."

"Bigfoot, think about what you're doing." Mabel said, patting her friend on the back. "We've become such close friends over this past day...I don't want to lose that bond and think of you as a villain."

Bigfoot frowned. "I'm sorry, I just...I get angry sometimes, and I forget about what I'm doing."

"It's okay, friend," Mabel replied, hugging the blushing beast. "I forgive you."

"Wow...no one's ever been so nice to me before..." Bigfoot stated, placing zis hand on zis chest.

She looked up at him and smiled. "Now, how about we all apologize to each other, and you sit down and Dipper and I whip you up the best chicken parmigana you'll ever  _oh god!"_

Suddenly, the entire room was covered in green goo as Bigfoot exploded. Grunkle Stan gagged, Dipper and Soos had bewildered expressions on their faces, and the color drained from Mabel's face.

"This had better not become a regular thing." Mabel grumbled. "I call first shower."

"Wait, so..." Soos began, still trying to put together what had just happened. "Mabel just defeated him by talking nicely to him? Why do I feel like I've seen that somewhere before?"


	4. Sympathy for the Framed Devil: Part 1

The Pines, as usual, were up to nothing important. Funny how it seems all of their misadventures start out like that. Maybe they should find a hobby or something.

Dipper, Mabel, and Soos sat on the couch in front of the television in the living room, watching a very intense episode of  _Tiger Fist._ As usual, the show cut to commercial at the best part, causing all of three to groan in agony.

"Hey, dudes, it's that commercial I was telling you about." Soos stated, pointing towards the television and snapping Dipper and Mabel's attention towards the ad. 

 _"Are you completely miserable?"_ A hick-ish voice on the television asked.

On the screen a crying man appeared, shouting "YES!" to the voice.

 _"Then you need to meet..."_ The voice began, before suddenly going into a whisper at the last word.  _"Gideon. This psychic will blow your mind with how he knows the answers to all your life's problems!"_

The screen cut to the psychic in question, who wasn't at all who Dipper and Mabel were expecting. 

A short, chubby boy appeared on screen, with large white hair and a blue suit.

"Who? Wittle ol' me?" Gideon questioned on the television, his face turning red.

 _"Come see him **tonight** live at Gideon's Tent of Telepathy!" _The television boomed, flashing the tent on screen and blinking text with the address on it. A series of visual effects flashed rapidly on the screen, it seemingly like whoever edited the commercial had just got a brand new software and wanted everyone to know. Soos quickly scrambled for the remote, turning the volume down.

"I hate it when commercials do that." Soos muttered.

"I'm not buying it." Dipper stated with a chuckle. "What about you, Mabel?"

Dipper turned to his cousin, which to his surprise had a blushing red face.

"Mabel, what's up?" Dipper questioned, before realizing what was going on. He had a sudden grin on his face. "Don't tell me...you've got a crush on that psychic kid?"

"Shut up!" Mabel shouted, punching Dipper in the arm and burying her head in her sweater. "I have allergies!"

"Allergies that make you blush?" Dipper asked skeptically.

"Yes."

"What's going on in here?" Grunkle Stan questioned, entering the living room.

"Oh, hey, Grunkle Stan." Dipper greeted. "Mabel here just has a little crush on this psychic we saw on TV. Gideon, wasn't it?"

The color drained from Grunkle Stan's face. "Not in my shack, she doesn't. That kid and his dad are real trouble. I'm losing money every night to their stupid fake act."

"You're one to talk about stupid fake acts." Dipper muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Anyways," Grunkle Stan started, turning towards his daughter, "by no means are you to be canoodling with that kid or supporting his business."

"Canoodling?" Mabel repeated, laughing. "Daddy..."

"'Daddy' nothing." Grunkle Stan interrupted, giving Mabel a stern look and telling her with his expression he was  _really_ serious about this. "I let you act all weird whenever a cute boy enters the Shack, so can you do me this one favor and stay away from that kid?"

Mabel sighed. "Whatever you say, Dad."

Once Grunkle Stan walked away, she turned toward Dipper and Soos with a smirk.

"But what if  _he_ enters the Shack?" Mabel asked. "Loophole!"

* * *

Later that day, Dipper headed to the bathroom, as people usually do a couple of times a day. The thing that was peculiar about this visit is that while in there, his phone buzzed. 

His phone. Dipper had forgotten that he'd even brought the thing with how crazy the last few days had been. But Dipper knew one thing, and that was that his mom had probably tried to contact him several times in the last two days.

And ignoring your mother never turns out well.

Dipper hesitantly inhaled and turned on his phone.

_(32) missed calls from Mom_

Oh god.

Clicking the word "Mom", he held the phone away from his ear, knowing what was to come. Sure enough, after one ring an ear-puncturing series of screams began to erupt from his phone.

" **ARE YOU SERIOUS? I HAVE BEEN WORRIED ~~~~FOR noʎ ʇnoqɐ sʎɐp -ı ̢u͘o ƃ̕u̸ı͝oƃ s͢ı̷ ʇɐ̵ɥʍ"**

"Mom!" Dipper yelled into the phone, interrupting her fury. "Please...chill, it's not my fault. I  _just_ got a notification of all your missed calls while in the bathroom. Apparently that's the only place in the Shack you can get signal."

Dipper heard his mom sigh.  _"I'm sorry for snapping at you, hon. I've just been worried sick for the past two days. Do you want me to come pick you up? I don't think it's safe for you to be there if you don't even have a working phone."_

"What?" Dipper questioned. "No, no, no, Mom, it's totally fine. I'll just hang out in the bathroom more often." 

_"Are you sure? I miss you...are you having fun?"_

"Well, to an extent." Dipper replied. For a second he thought about telling her about the tentacle monster, Bigfoot, and the child psychic, but that would likely stress her out more or cause her to put him on medication. "It's nice to have a different atmosphere here. Though Grunkle Stan...yeah, he's a cheapskate."

Dipper's mom laughed. " _Oh, I know. Well...I miss you. I'll see you when I see you. Oh yeah, we never talked about that. How long are you wanting to stay?"_

"Hmm..." Dipper stalled, thinking. "I don't know...a couple of weeks? A month? I'll get back to you on that."

_"Wow, you must like it there a decent amount. That's good. Gotta go. Love you, hon."_

"Love you too." Dipper replied. The phone clicked as Dipper exited the bathroom.

* * *

"Mabel, what are you doing?" Dipper questioned, watching his cousin get herself all dolled up for who knows what.

"I'm going to the dreamy psychic boy thing tonight." Mabel said, applying a bit of eyeshadow - something she never did. She was really taking meeting this boy seriously.

"You mean you convinced your dad to let you go?"

Mabel snorted. "As if."

"So you're sneaking out?" Dipper asked, chuckling. "You're hardcore."

"Shut up." Mabel muttered, punching her cousin in the arm. "I'm not really sneaking out, as my dad will know that I'm out. But I looked at the schedule, and it just so happens that Wendy gets off at the same time that the psychic thing starts. So I talked to her, and we're going to tell my dad that we're going to see the  _Ducktective_ movie, but really we're, y'know..."

"Wow, you thought this through. You really want to see this kid."

"His hair..." Mabel moaned, getting lost in a daydream for a moment before snapping herself out of it. "Anyways, do you wanna come with me? Y'know, since it's not good for a lady to go out walking alone at night?"

Dipper sighed. "Like anyone wants to abduct you."

"Everyone wants to be abduct me! I'm adorable!"

"Fine." Dipper stated flatly.

 

* * *

After almost too easily getting past Grunkle Stan and walking through the forest down to the mysterious blue and white tent, they had finally arrived at the Tent of Telepathy for the big show.

 _Here goes nothing,_ Dipper thought to himself, a little part of him hoping he was wrong about this whole thing and he'd be really impressed.

The audience's chatter quieted down in the tent as the curtains opened, revealing Gideon. 

"Hello, America!" Gideon exclaimed. "My name is..."

Gideon pulled a wand out of his pocket and waved it around in the air, causing little sparks to form out  **"Lil' Gideon".** The audience ooo-ed and aah-ed (except for Dipper).

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight!" Gideon continued, before suddenly pausing and appearing to do a double take. "Whoa! I just had a vision!"

 _Okay, Raven,_ Dipper sassily thought to himself.

"My vision told me that you will soon all say 'aww'." Gideon stated. Just then, he made a cute pose, making his eyes go wide and his cheeks turn rosy. As predicted, the audience all indeed saw 'aww' (except for Dipper).

"It came true." Mabel said in utter shock.

"Come on." Dipper snorted.

"What? There's no way you're not impressed!"

"Hit it, Dad!" Gideon yelled, pointing to a man on the piano who was presumably his father.

Gideon's father nodded, beginning to play the piano as Gideon coughed, then began to sing.

_Oh, I can see, what others can't see_

_It ain't some sideshow trick, it's innate ability_

_Where others are blind, I am futurely inclined_

_And you too could see, if you was wittle ol' me!_

"Come on, everybody, rise up!" Gideon exclaimed to his audience, who all immediately rose up (including Dipper this time). "I want y'all to keep it going!"

Dipper suddenly realized he had seemingly been pulled out of his chair. He certainly didn't intentionally stand up for the kid.

 _How did he do that?,_ Dipper thought to himself, having to admit to himself he was a little impressed.

Gideon began gesturing to various people in the audience, devoting different verses to his predictions for them.

_You wish your son would call you more_

"I'm leaving everything to my cats!" An elderly woman with a cat in her lap yelled in the audience.

_I sense that you've been here before_

 

"What gave it away?" A dark-skinned man asked in the audience, covering head to toe in merchandise for the boy.

Gideon turned towards Mabel with a smile, causing her to blush.

_I'll read your mind if I'm able_

_Something tells me you're named Mabel_

"How'd he do that?" Mabel asked in shock. Dipper glanced over at her sweater which clearly had her name in bold letters and rolled his eyes.

_So welcome all ye, to the Tent of Telepathy_

_And thanks for visiting...wittle ol' me!_

 

* * *

"Well, that was an hour of my life I'll never get back." Dipper muttered as he walked out of the Tent of Telepathy with Mabel.

"Don't be mean." Mabel scolded. "I do honestly believe that he could be a psychic."

"Do you?"

"Well..."

"Come on, he's a bigger fraud than Stan!" Dipper stated. "No wonder he's jealous."

"Yeah, but his hair was amazing, and his eyebrows were like... _on fleek."_ Mabel exhaled, getting an excited tone in her voice just remembering.

"Please never say that again."

"Whatever, I liked it." Mabel said.

"You like everything." Dipper replied with a smirk to his cousin.

"Eh, you've got a point there."

* * *

_Mabel was an outsider._

_For whatever reason, she was unable to move her body at all, only able to witness what was going on in front of her._

_And what was going on was simply heinous._

_She was watching in trepidation as the boy she had gone to see earlier in the night was being savagely beaten with a bottle of sorts - or at least, that's what she thought it was. She was only able to see the shadows, but they were more than enough for her._

_The figure of the man who was beating the boy...he looked and sounded a lot like...no._

_His father?_

_But he seemed so nice up there, with a friendly smile, happily playing his plainsong to his son's lyrics._

_"Stop it!" Mabel yelled, neither of the figures acknowledging her. She felt tears dwelling up in her eyes. **"Stop it!"**_

 

* * *

Mabel jolted up from her bed, her heart racing as she recognized her surroundings. 

It had just been a nightmare.

But why had her subconscious chosen something like that for her to dream about?

Was she crazy, or could it be a call to action? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A minor portion (mostly Gideon's lyrics) was left unmodified from the original Gravity Falls episode at the end. This was intended for fair use and belongs to Disney and Alex Hirsch.


End file.
